


a bad case of loving you

by Rhovanel



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M, I laughed so much while I was writing this I had to lie on the floor, Implied Sexual Content, Spoilers for Jaal's romance arc, Spoilers for the main quest up to the end of Hunting the Archon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 15:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10597329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhovanel/pseuds/Rhovanel
Summary: Lexi gives Ryder the sex talk. Ryder would rather die.





	

Ryder was sitting on her bed in her quarters reading through some notes on the Remnant when SAM’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

‘Pathfinder, Doctor T’Perro would like to see you at your earliest convenience.’

Ryder frowned. She wasn’t due to check in with Lexi until the following week.

‘Okay,’ she said slowly. ‘Do you know what this is about?’

‘I am not at liberty to say.’

Alarm bells began ringing in Ryder’s head. Was she sick? Was someone on the crew sick? She looked at the notes scattered around her. She’d promised Peebee she’d finish reading these tonight so they could discuss it in the morning. Reaching for her datapad, she felt a sudden bolt of terror. _Scott. What if it’s Scott?_

‘SAM?’ she called, pulling on her shoes. ‘Tell Lexi I’m coming now.’

‘Yes, Pathfinder. Doctor T’Perro is in the medical bay.’

‘Thanks, SAM.’ Ryder walked the short distance down the corridor to the med bay, finding Lexi absorbed in something that looked suspiciously like a diagram of human anatomy.

‘Lexi’, Ryder said in a rush. ‘What’s wrong? Is someone sick?’ Her stomach lurched with fear. ‘Is it Scott?’

Lexi smiled. ‘Oh no, no, everything’s fine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.’

Ryder let out a breath, running a hand through her hair. ‘That’s okay, Lexi. But your message sounded urgent - what’s this about?’

Lexi smiled again. ’Why don’t you take a seat?’

Ryder stiffened, crossing her arms against her chest. ‘You know, nothing good ever follows ‘take a seat’. I’ll stand.’

‘Fine,’ replied Lexi. ‘I wanted to talk to you about your relationship with Jaal.’

A shiver ran down Ryder’s spine. It had only been a week since Jaal had taken her to meet his family on Havarl. Lying on the floor of his childhood bedroom, staring at the universe together, she’d felt like maybe, just maybe, the future in Andromeda was brighter than the one she’d left behind in the Milky Way. Their relationship wasn’t a secret, exactly, but it still was so new and young and so damn precious that she felt that even speaking it aloud to anyone else might destroy it. 

‘What about it?’ she responded, unable to entirely keep the suspicion out of her voice. 

‘Ryder, everyone knows what’s going on between the two of you.’ Lexi raised an eyebrow. ‘Jaal isn’t discreet with his emotions, and the way he looks at you…it’s almost reverent.’

Ryder suppressed a smile.

‘Besides, Liam said that when the two of you got off the shuttle in Havarl you practically had hearts in your eyes.’

‘I do NOT have heart eyes!’ Ryder said too quickly. She took a deep breath. ‘Alright, yes, Jaal and I are…together. But it’s very new and we’re still figuring it out, and I don’t know if it’s any of your business.’

Lexi raised her hands in placation. ‘Your personal life is your own, of course. But as your doctor, I am also responsible for your sexual health.’

‘Oh no.’ Ryder turned and walked towards the door. ‘I am not having this conversation.’ Reaching the door, she frowned to find it locked. ‘Why is the door locked? SAM?’

‘Doctor T’Perro has instructed me that this consultation may involve some resistance. I have taken precautionary measures.’

Ryder banged her fist against the door. ‘SAM, let me out! I have…pathfinding business.’

‘Negative, Pathfinder. You have no new emails and the ship is on a steady course to Aya. There is nothing that requires your attention at present.’

Ryder let out a howl of frustration. 

‘Ryder, don’t be such a child.’ Lexi stood up and approached the door. ‘When Jaal was here, he was perfectly accommodating.’

Ryder turned around with a sinking feeling in her stomach. ‘You spoke to Jaal?’

‘Yes, he came to see me.’ Lexi leaned against the nearest bed. ‘He is very curious about how the human body works.’

‘Oh my god.’ Ryder began slowly sliding down the wall.

‘He asked me all kinds of questions and he was a model student - attentive, engaged. We spoke at length about the mechanics of human female pleasure.’

‘MECHANICS?’ Ryder squeaked. 

‘Oh yes, you know Jaal, always a tinkerer. He loves taking things apart and learning how they work.’ Lexi smirked. ‘With my advice and a little bit of practice, I’m sure he’s more than capable of…uh…taking you apart.’

Ryder hit the floor with a loud thunk. ‘SAM,’ she choked, ‘you know that thing you did where you stopped my heart? Now would be a great time to do that again.’

‘That is inappropriate, Pathfinder,’ SAM responded. ‘The physical stress on your body would outweigh the emotional strain you are currently experiencing.’

‘Are you sure about that?’ Ryder muttered. 

Lexi took a few steps towards her. ‘Ryder, do you remember the time Suvi licked the rock? Do you want that to happen to you?’

Ryder’s head shot up. ‘Lexi, this isn’t the same thing, I’m not about to -’ She ground to a sudden halt as she remembered a rather vivid fantasy from the previous night, which definitely involved tongues and skin and-

Lexi chuckled.

‘Oh god,’ Ryder groaned. She looked up at Lexi, who held a hand out to help her up. ‘Okay, Doctor. Go ahead.’

Lexi led her over to a terminal. Tapping away at the keyboard, she brought up a few diagrams. ’After discussion with Jaal, I think your two species are more than compatible, and you should easily be able to experience mutual pleasure.’

_This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me._

‘The angara do have a relatively humanoid anatomy, so you should be able to find positions that are comfortable for you both. Jaal has a list of suggestions, but feel free to experiment.’

_I am going to kill Jaal._

‘Now, the main thing to remember is that they’re larger and sturdier than your average human. Jaal is quite worried that he will inadvertently hurt you, but I reassured him that humans are tougher than they look. But don’t be afraid to assert yourself.’

_No, I’m going to get SAM to kill him, then revive him, then I’m going to kill him again._

‘The other thing I want to raise is the angaran electromagnetic field. They have such fine control over this field, it’s incredible, unlike anything I’ve seen before.’ Lexi’s enthusiasm was obvious. ‘Jaal tells me that they often use small pulses as social cues, which might explain why their communication involves far more casual touching than you might be used to.’

Ryder nodded. Jaal had explained this to her, and she’d observed it herself amongst the angara on Aya and Havarl.

Lexi continued. ‘Now, if this is important in social interaction, it’s even more so in sexual relationships. You might have experienced some of this already?’ She turned to Ryder with a querying expression.

Ryder kept her face studiously blank.

‘Well, feel free to experiment! I think this has the potential to be particularly, uh…stimulating for you.’

‘Oh my god, Lexi.’ Ryder felt like all of the blood in her body was currently making its way to her face.

‘I’m just trying to help,’ Lexi responded, crossing her arms somewhat defensively. ‘Now, obviously you can’t reciprocate…although…didn’t Jaal say he and Gil were rigging up some kind of substitute for the rest of us for movie night?’

‘Lexi, I swear to god, if you bring Gil into this…’

‘Okay, okay.’ Lexi raised her hands in defeat. ‘I can tell this is making you uncomfortable, so I won’t talk about angaran anatomy in detail with you. I’ve prepared this datapad which has all the information you need. But please come and see me if-‘

Ryder snatched the datapad out of her hands. ‘Yes okay, thank you!’

Lexi’s professional demeanour faltered for a moment, and she looked at the datapad with a frown. ‘Maybe…don’t take it out of your quarters. I wouldn’t want it to fall into the wrong hands. I don’t want to go down in history as the person who supported the first angaran issue of Fornax.’

Ryder snorted. ‘Noted, Doctor. Private use only.’

‘One last thing. Relationships aren’t just about physical safety, they’re also about emotional and mental health.’

Ryder frowned, looking at her feet. ‘I know. Jaal is very open with his feelings, which leaves him vulnerable. I’m…I’m worried I’ll hurt him without meaning to, simply because I won’t understand when he’s expecting a response from me.’

Lexi placed a tentative hand on her arm. ‘Ryder, the first rule of any successful relationship is communication. Again and again you’ve demonstrated that you’re an excellent listener, considerate of other people’s feelings. But remember that communication goes both ways. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to open up to other people. It’s one of the bravest things you can do.’

Ryder raised her head to look Lexi in the eyes. ‘I…I just…I don’t know if I can lose anyone else.’

Lexi frowned softly. ‘I know you’re so focused on the future - after all, it’s your job. But the angara value the present, the moments of happiness we can find in the here and now. I think we could all learn something from that.’

Ryder closed her eyes, seeing the stars spinning in Jaal’s bedroom. She’d always loved stars because they were a temporal paradox - their light came from the past, but they held the promise of the future. But in the end, did it matter where the light was coming from or where it was going? Or was it more about the present-day pleasures of sitting under a night sky?

‘Thank you, Lexi.’ Ryder smiled. ‘That’s…that’s helpful.’

‘That’s what I’m here for,’ replied Lexi. She tapped at her omni-tool and Ryder heard the door open behind her. ‘Right, you’re free to go. That wasn’t so bad, was it?’

‘No, I guess not,’ said Ryder. ‘Thanks again, Lexi.’

‘Any time. Oh, and Ryder?’ Lexi crossed her arms and smirked. ‘That thing I said about communication? It works just as well for the physical side of relationships.’

‘I’m leaving now!’ Ryder walked hastily through the door, shaking her head as Lexi’s laughter followed her down the hall.

Back in her quarters, she sank back onto the bed. She looked at the datapads scattered across her bed, then at the one in her hands.

Peebee would have to wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Mordin's sex talk in Mass Effect 2 is one of my favourite parts of the game, and I couldn't resist recreating it here.
> 
> Everything I know about angaran anatomy/biology comes from the codex, but I take full responsibility for any mistakes/inconsistencies.


End file.
